Note: Cheers to the Mamas!
Yesterday, I celebrated my first Mamas day....and it ended with us at the beach which was absolutely perfect. Being a Mama has been one of the hardest, most fulfilling things that has ever happened to me. I really cannot believe that I get to be a mama to my sweet Jack. Every time I look at him I realize what crazy kind of love God must have for us.
So far, I've learned that I second guess myself about 9000 times a day. I use all of my detective skills learned from my favorite television show, Matlock, to try to solve elaborate mysteries daily such as, "Why has he not pooped yet?" or "Why was this nap 2 hours and the earlier nap 30 mins?" Most of the time, these mysteries go unsolved. I suck at a schedule which is really hilarious seeing as I always thrived on a schedule pre-baby. Basically, I'm a mess.
But Jack still loves me anyways.
And that unconditional love goes both ways.
He may scream his head off at me for no apparent reason. He may decide tonight is the night to have a party at 1, 3 and 5 AM. But you know what? I don't care because I love him with crazy kind of love and I really don't think he could ever do anything to diminish that.
And that brings me back and reminds me again what crazy kind of love Jesus must have for me. That i mess up, pitch a fit, behave ridiculously, act selfishly, cause a scene...and at the end of the day, he's still going to wrap me up in his arms + tell me he loves me.
My greatest hope is that this huge, crazy, unimaginable love that God has shown me can somehow be translated into the love that I show Jack. That he will never ever know a day in which he isn't loved, accepted + celebrated for exactly who he is.
Jack, you made me a Mama! And I promise to try my best to live up to everything your little wide-eyed, open heart can imagine.